"Hello. My name is Miracle Max. Prepare to get a paper cut and have lemon juice poured on it."

While in the Dollar Store today, I picked up a copy of "The Rough Guide to Kid's Movies". The three reasons I got it was (a) I'm now in a situation to have a greater interest in the subject, (b) I had come across other volumes in this series at the library and they looked pretty cool and (c) it was a friggin dollar.

Unfortunately, that's about as much as it's worth. I have to wonder at the quality of the editing in those other volumes when I read a passage like the following out of my recent purchase (describing The Princess Bride):

"When writer William Goldman first touted the script of The Princess Bride around Hollywood, the then unknown Arnold Schwarzenegger was keen to play the giant, Fezzik. However, it took until the mid-1980's for Goldman to garner serious interest in his unusual fairytale, by which time Arnie had moved on to heavier weaponry. Which was perhaps no bad thing, for Billy Crystal stepped into the breach as the giant, Miracle Max."

"The story is about a girl called Buttercup who is kidnapped by the evil Prince Humperdinck. Her childhood love Westley sets off to rescue her and, whilst searching, meets a giant swordsman - Miracle Max."

Apparently, Billy Crystal was supposed to be a giant, as was Mandy Patinkin, and they were both named Miracle Max. Criminy, guys, it's not like you're decoding a David Lynch film or anything. Get your facts straight!

And to think it all started in Leland, Mississippi.

What's better for a Friday afternoon than an entire Metafilter post devoted to The Dark Crystal?

If nothing else, it assures me that I'm not the only one that (a) loves this movie to death and (b) desperately wants Augrha's Orrery for my very own.

12 hours to go...

Samuel L Jackson Quote of the Month: February 2010

When I first looked through Samuel L. Jackson's resume for this year, I noticed he was in an episode of Law & Order during it's very first season. I checked it out and got a kick out of his small role as a lawyer. I even got a bonus in another supporting role by a very young Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Five years after that episode, they found themselves doing supporting work again, this time in Paul Thomas Anderson's first full length feature Sydney. Hoffman, of course, would go on to be a major Anderson player in his films, but it's a pity Jackson didn't so the same. Anderson gave his character Jimmy some great dialogue, as is seen in this scene where his character confronts the Sydney of the title (played by the equally wonderful Philip Baker Hall):

Jimmy: "What I mean - what I believe... is that you killed his father... like the stories I heard go. Now, if somebody killed my father... I would feel the need to do something. The stories I heard - you know, stories get around - is that you used to be a hard-ass. You were a hard-ass and you took his dad out, Sydney. So you think - what? You can just walk through this life... without being punished for it? Shit, man. I know all those guys you know. Floyd Gondolli, Jimmy Gator, Mumbles O'Malley. They like to sit around in Clifton's and talk, talk, talk. They love to tell stories. You can sit there and look at me sideways all you want. You probably think I'm some kind of asshole or something... but I'm not a killer... like you. You walk around like you're Mr. Cool, Mr. Wisdom... but you're not. You're just some old hood. The other night in the bar, you asking me a question... like do I do parking lot security? Well, the answer is no! I'm trusted security inside the casino. I'm trusted with security, and I don't fuck it up."

Sydney: "Good that you have such a sturdy sense of responsibility."

Jimmy: "Don't! Don't! Don't fuckin' do that! You understand? I can see right through that shit! You look at me as some idiot, huh? I know you do. I know you. You old guys, you old hoods... you think you're so fuckin' above it... so high and mighty. What am I to you? Some loser? Not with a gun in my hand. Not with the facts I know. Bottom line, Sydney. No matter how hard you try... you're not his father."

"The Cattle Corner Project"

What with everything going on with selling a house and tending a six month old, you'd think I'd know better than to resurrect a project I was working on while Mrs. Mosley was still pregnant. Yet I'm going to give it a shot anyway. The screenshots are important parts of the project, and if you don't recognize them, shame on you.

Career Path

The films of M. Night Shyamalan:

A great movie with a great twist ending.

A good movie with a good twist ending.

A passable movie with a twist ending.

A movie with a twist ending.

A bad movie with a bad twist ending.

A horrible movie with an insulting twist ending.

Ah, screw it. Let's just make a CGI martial arts blockbuster based on a kids TV show.