What's wrong with this picture?

The other three pictures in this Diesel ad campaign (which postulates the possible effects of Global Warming) aren't nearly as subtle or brilliant as the one below (via Think Progress). I did a double-take myself:

Skippy of the Day: Ben Witherington

I know. I'm going to Hell for this bit, but I can't resist making a comment on this reaction to the upcoming Lost Tomb of Jesus Discovery Channel special:

CNSNews.com, a unit of the conservative Media Research Center, which has close ties with Christian fundamentalist groups, quoted Asbury Theological Seminary professor Ben Witherington as saying, "This is a story full of holes, conjectures and problems."

And this is different from the Bible how?

Look for it in your grocer's freezer case (right next to the Heroin Sherbert)

I have seen the face of evil:
This particular flavor has actually been around for a while, but it was previously packaged in the standard beige-colored container. Apparently, the company saw some positive sales numbers of this product and decided to make them more distinct.

Truth be told, there are three Girl Scout flavors to choose from: Samoas, Tagalongs and Thin Mints. But Samoas are the Alpha and Omega of cookies and are, therefore, to be the most feared. I'm going to make a prediction: In three years time, there will be Samoa-flavored coffee at Starbucks.

Then absolutely no one will be safe!

Acrentropy gives it's congratulations

I'm not blogging the entire ceremony, but simply one special part of it: Congratulations to Quote-Of-The-Month subject for 2006, Forest Whitaker, for his wining the Best Actor Oscar.



And in honor of this here is a bonus quote from his winning film, The Last King of Scotland:

Idi Amin: "If I could be from anywhere except Uganda, I would be a Scot! I love everything about Scotland! ... Apart from red hair, which your women may find attractive but which in Africa is quite disgusting."

Slap that beard back on Spock

Consider this: In the late 1980's, there were two tabloid television news shows in competition with each other: A Current Affair and Inside Edition. The respective hosts for these shows were Maury Povich and Bill O'Reilly.

Somewhere out there, there exists a more just alternate reality where Povich has his own cable news show discussing politics and O'Reilly is busy refereeing fights between white trash five afternoons a week.

Personally, I blame Arlo Guthrie for all this

It's in human nature that certain words are very fun to say, and many people will look for any excuse to use those words.

Given all this, I think the enjoyability of saying the words "VW Microbus" is one of the main reasons that Little Miss Sunshine is nominated for Best Picture.

Pick a war. Any war.

So this was the headline earlier this week:

Bush: War On Terror Like U.S. Revolution
In Presidents Day Speech, President Compares Revolutionary War With U.S. Fight Against Terrorism

And for those keeping track, this is the third war that he has compared the War on Terror to:

Bush: War on terror 'like WWII'

Bush likens war on terrorism to Cold War

Of course, all these wars we more or less won. I'm reminded of Bart Simpson's epilogue to the season one episode "Bart the General": "There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy."

And then, of course, there is the bloody scoopful of chum that he threw to the Rapture crowd:

Bush likens 'war on terror' to WWIII

Nice language there, George. Just remember what good old Albert said: "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

My very own YouTube

Want to see what I have been up to for the past month or so?



(My profile page)

Batshit Crazy Bulletin

Both Georgia State House Representative Ben Bridges (R) and Texas State House Representative Warren Chisum (R) do not believe that the earth is rotating or going around the sun.

Furthermore, they don't believe O.J. Simpson ever went to Mars, either.

Comedy is hard

Air America, the liberal radio network, took a lot of flak when it first came out since it was entering a market dominated by frothing, half-crazed conservatives. Despite some bumps along the road, Air America is still here after nearly three years of existence.

Now the tables have turned. FOX News recently debuted a conservative answer to the Daily Show called The 1/2 Hour News Hour. Slate has the lowdown:

The ½ Hour News Hour is the brainchild of Joel Surnow, co-creator of 24. "Almost every comedy show or satire show I see uses the same talking points against George W. Bush and Dick Cheney," Surnow told Variety in November. "The other side hasn't been skewered in a fair and balanced way." Talking points? Fair and balanced? That's not the language of the writers' room. In any case, you couldn't skewer a cube of tofu with material this dull. It will play to the base, maybe, especially if the base hands the remote control to its 12-year-old son. As a humorless liberal, I can handle it. It's the conservatives—the ones with actual gifts for comedy—who ought to be sharpening their knives.

There are several additional points to make: One is that the use of Anne Coulter and Rush Limbaugh for sketch comedy is simply an action of convenience rather than shrewd casting. Anyone who has watched a lot of Saturday Night Live knows that, of the guest hosts who weren't actors or comedians, only a handful have managed to do sketch comedy that didn't make the viewer cringe.

Let me put it this way: It you were a conservative owner of a garage, would you hire the guy who's views are identical to yourself and your customer base, or would you hire the guy who, you know, actually knows how to fix cars?

And as it concerns The Daily Show, these people are missing the point. The Daily Show is equal opportunity in it's jokes (as all good comedy shows should be). You can be rest assured that Stewart and his writers will not turn a blind eye to the slew of Democratic candidates for President. They're ripe for plucking. The real reason that Bush and Cheney (and Republicans in general) have been focused on so much is (say it with me) they're the ones who have been in power for the past six years!

And for those who continue to think that Stewart takes too many jabs at Dubya, then I have a simple solution for you: Ask your dear President to stop furnishing him with so much material.

One final note: Even the show's title isn't original. MTV used to have a show called the Half Hour Comedy Hour in the early 90's. Guess what, FOX? The title wasn't terribly clever then, either.

Movie Trailers: Part Deux

I've been playing with Windows Movie Maker for the past two months. I've made one video which is a clipshow of sorts which I may eventually post on YouTube. Now that I'm finished with this first one, I'm thinking about doing one of these Movie trailer remixes that have become popular where you make the film look like a completely different animal from clever editing and use of footage.

For your viewing pleasure, here are five of the best currently up on YouTube:

Mary Poppins as a horror film

The Shining as feel-good comedy

Sleepless in Seattle as a thriller

The Ten Commandments as teen comedy

West Side Story as a zombie film

Miraculously, the Ben Stiller movie blows the other four out of the water.

They say that January and February are the movie doldrums where most of the worst films get dumped by the studios. But this roster of the current top five films (and their critical average via Rotten Tomatoes) is pathetic:

Sorry, Regal Cinemas. You ain't gettin any of my money anytime soon.

How do you ask "What's in a Name" in Latin?

In the wake of yesterday's release of Hannibal Rising, I've read several critics comment on how with a name like Hannibal, the kid was just destined to become a flesh-eating psychopath.

On a similar note, the top story this morning is abut the new U.S. Commander in Iraq and his opinions on how it's all going over there. His name is David Petraeus, and I ask you: With a name like "Petraeus", wasn't it inevitable that he become a military leader?

A man who knows what he wants (and needs)

I'm hopping back and forth through Innocent When You Dream: The Tom Waits Reader, and there is a questionnaire near the end where every response he gives is priceless. The following three, however, deserve special note:

VF: What is the quality you most like in a man?
TW: Generosity, irony, bravery, humor, madness, imagination, and the ability to take a punch.

VF: What is the quality you most like in a woman?
TW: Good bones, sharp teeth, big heart, black humor, full of magic, plenty of forgiveness, and a good sport.

VF: What do you most value in your friends?
TW: Jumper cables and a tow chain.

"My Sweet Lord"

Last night, I watched the DVD of Concert for George (a tribute to George Harrison performed at Royal Albert Hall exactly one year after his death). It had some wonderful music as well as some Monty Python goodness with the original cast members (Harrison was a big fan and close friend of the Pythons. He even helped finance some of their films).

Among the musicians on stage was Harrison's son, Dhani, who is a musician himself and looks as natural on a guitar as any human being can be. Not only that, but he bears a spooky (and I mean spooky) resemblance to his dad.

Beatle DNA: Strongest stuff on the planet.

Hey! I'm trying to stay on a diet here!

Oh, for cripes sake! Did I have to see this (via Metafilter):

"Some places have a very thin, crisp skin; some places have more garlicky, sticky sauces; some advertise that they are healthy because they fry in 100 percent olive oil," said Mr. McPherson, an English teacher, who writes a food blog called zenkimchi.com/FoodJournal.

"Suddenly there will be a long line outside one chicken place, for no apparent reason, and then the next week, it's somewhere else."

Even Korea's corner bars and fast-food chicken chains are preoccupied with the quality, freshness and integrity of their product.

With Korean-style chicken outlets opening recently in New York, New Jersey and California, fried chicken has begun to complete its round-trip flight from the States to Seoul.

"I really think we make it better than the original," said Young Jin, who opened a friendly little chicken joint called Unidentified Flying Chickens in Jackson Heights last month. "We use fresh, not frozen, chicken, always fried to order, no trans fats, no heat lamps."

In Korea, chickens are much smaller, so the whole chicken is fried and served, hacked up into bite-size pieces. But the large breasts and thighs of American chickens are a challenge to cook evenly.

According to Mr. Jin and others, that's why the Korean-style chicken places here serve mostly wings (true connoisseurs can specify either the upper "arm" or the "wing") and small drumsticks. The chicken is typically seasoned only after it is fried, with either a sweetish garlic-soy glaze or a hotter red-pepper sauce that brings the dish into Buffalo wing territory.

But do not look for blue cheese and celery sticks, or even biscuits and gravy. The typical accompaniment to Korean fried chicken is cubes of pickled radish and plenty of beer or soju; the combination produces an irresistible repetition of salt and spice, cold and hot, briny and sweet, crunchy and tender.

"People — even Americans — say the combination is really addictive," said Ryan Jhun, Mr. Chung’s brother-in-law and business partner.

Yeah, no sh*t! Now you'll excuse me. I've got to see if this damn town has a Korean restaurant.

A Cable Flashback

My memories of watching Comedy Central back in its infancy is chock-a-block with comedians that have come and gone. Back then, they filled up a lot of their airtime with video of stand-up comedians doing their thing at comedy clubs. This is not to belittle this programming choice, but too much of it got old really fast and we were happy for actual original programming when it emerged (Thank you, MST3K).

So I tune in to The Huffington Post this morning and find an essay by none other than Elayne Boosler. There's a flash from the past. And though she never went out and got her own show like some others that frequented Comedy Central back then (Tim Allen, Ray Romano), she's still got a great wit:

When people write, "Is America ready for a female president?" they need to know how insulting that is to women. These are the doubt planters. Tell 'em to go to hell. They're not asking, they're undermining. If you want to make someone feel unwell, don't say, "You look terrible", because he'll immediately bounce back with, "I feel fine!" But if you ASK, if you say, "Do you feel all right?" the doubt sets right in. "Why? Why do you ask? What's wrong?" That's what they're doing. "Is America READY for a woman president?" "Why? What's going to happen??"

Is America ready? The rest of the world probably reads that and shakes its head in bemusement, or incredulity, plain confusion, or maybe even sadness. Is America ready for sliced bread, covered wagons, indoor plumbing, math, the wheel, air travel, computers? Duh. You're so cute.

This actually ties in with the whole Biden-Obama snafu of last week. Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck expressed exasperation at the whole business and felt as if they need to walk on eggshells around blacks for fear of offending them. No, you dolts, you just need to use some common friggin sense when speaking (which, granted, you probably don't have a lot of practice in).

Phrasing it as he did, Biden made it sound like the the discovery of an articulate and clean African American was about as rare as a Stradivarius. It's all in how you say it.

But let me give O'Reilly and Beck a better example: Why don't one or both of you guys take a trip down to the Deep South, walk into a bar or restaurant and chat up the first married couple you see. Ask about their family history and then express in utter astonishment, "That's wonderful that you two aren't cousins!".

Maybe that will better communicate the difference to you and you can go on your shows and talk about it ... through what little teeth you have left.

Battle for the Biggest Badass of the British Isles!

Having watched Cold Mountain, Troy, The Proposition and The Departed in the past four months (as well as re-watching X2 and Goblet of Fire), I think that Ray Winstone, Brian Cox and Brendan Gleeson should just enter a three-way cage match to see who emerges the victor. That way it would be England vs. Scotland vs. Ireland!

I'd put out serious money for that.

Ditto

Via Boing Boing:

...and furthermore...

BOOGAH BOOGAH!

Delroy Lindo Quote of the Month: February 2007

Despite his powerful dramatic turn in Malcolm X, Lindo has been mostly tapped for comedy, often in crime films (as the selections for this year will prove out). In spite of the typical banter that has become cliched in this post-Tarantino world, you can be assured that folks like David Mamet will be able to match great dialogue to an actor of Lindo's intelligence.

I have mentioned my love/hate relationship with Mamet once before, but it doesn't stop me from seeing his movies. Heist was a good flick, and had some new twists on how criminals would pull off certain crimes (oh, what you can do with a stack of books and a cup of coffee). Mamet also delivers the goods in terms of the script, and Lindo (who plays tough guy Bobby Blane) gets some sweet lines:

Bobby Blane: "There's nothing wrong with prayer. We knew this firefighter, this trooper, who always carried a bible next to his heart. We used to mock him, but that bible stopped a bullet."

Jimmy: "No shit."

Bobby Blane: "Hand of God, that bible stopped a bullet, would of ruined that fucker's heart. And had he had another bible in front of his face, that man would be alive today."