"Gee, Davey. Do you think it was ... "

Nobody likes a smartass ... unless they are making fun of the other side (via Slate):

Let's face it: The problem with science has always been that each new discovery unleashes thousands of new questions and ambiguities. So really, the more we discover new stuff, the stupider we get. Clearly, that isn't working. ID says we shouldn't bother ourselves with resolving scientific inconsistencies or untangling puzzles. We should recognize that what God really wants is for us just to stop learning.

Think of the applications. Science is, after all, teeming with unresolved conundrums. What if we just recognized, for instance, that we can't make the Standard Model of particle physics work? This theory, which purports to describe all known matter - including subatomic particles, such as quarks and leptons, as well as the forces by which they interact - is plagued by scientists' failure to observe something called "proton decay." Now, if we apply the ID principle to particle physics, no one ever needs to put on a lab coat again. Quarks and leptons? They're made of God.

And so are quartz and leprechauns.

There are many thorny medical mysteries doctors can't explain: How can pluripotent stem cells give rise to any type of cell in the body? Why is the genetic marker for Huntington's disease characterized by an excess of trinucleotide repeats? What accounts for the phenomenon of spontaneous remission in some cancers? With intelligent design, we don't ever need to find out. Years from now, we'll all lie in our hospital beds while ID-trained doctors hold our hands and assure us that we are merely dying of God.

We'll all be able to huddle around our radios and listen to Car Talk as a family. After the question is posed, we can all yell out in unison with Click and Clack that the mysterious drut-drut-drut coming from that lady in Vermont's carburetor is ... "God!!"

And Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit will be vastly improved when Mariska Hargitay can look ruefully over at Chris Meloni, shake her head over the dead victim's limp frame, and shrug: "Heck if I know what happened. It's a real mystery. I guess we'll have to get a warrant for God." Sigh. "Again." Cut to closing credits.

For a more mature analysis on ID, Slate offers William Saletan's view.

Trapped

Years ago, one of my older brothers was living out in Macclenny, a rural little town west of Jacksonville. At one point we had some very heavy rains while he was out of town and his place flooded. In his backyard, he had some rabbits in individual cages that were built up about three feet off the ground. It wasn't high enough, apparently, and the rabbits all drowned inside their cages.

I remember thinking at the time how horrid a way to die that was with the dread building slowly as the water rose and there was no means of escape. I wouldn't wish that kind of death on anything or anyone.

Anyone.

According to inmates interviewed by Human Rights Watch, they had no food or water from the inmates' last meal over the weekend of August 27-28 until they were evacuated on Thursday, September 1. By Monday, August 29, the generators had died, leaving them without lights and sealed in without air circulation. The toilets backed up, creating an unbearable stench.

"They left us to die there," Dan Bright, an Orleans Parish Prison inmate told Human Rights Watch at rabbits Parish Prison, where he was sent after the evacuation.

As the water began rising on the first floor, prisoners became anxious and then desperate. Some of the inmates were able to force open their cell doors, helped by inmates held in the common area. All of them, however, remained trapped in the locked facility.

"The water started rising, it was getting to here," said Earrand Kelly, an inmate from Templeman III, as he pointed at his neck. "We was calling down to the guys in the cells under us, talking to them every couple of minutes. They were crying, they were scared. The one that I was cool with, he was saying 'I'm scared. I feel like I'm about to drown.' He was crying."

Some inmates from Templeman III have said they saw bodies floating in the floodwaters as they were evacuated from the prison.

Thanks to This Modern World for relaying this little-known Katrina story.

"Solsbury Hill" was a nice touch

I found a link to an altered trailer for The Shining on no less than three of my regular sites yesterday (Defective Yeti, Little Yellow Different, Metafilter) and it is indeed worthy of mention.

This is the winner of a contest where people were told to re-edit a movie trailer to make it seem as totally different a sort of film as possible. Incredibly well done. Apparently the guy who did it was recently contacted by the Vice President of Warner Brothers who liked it too.

Two other entries include some slice and dice work with West Side Story and Titanic.

Monty Python meets Microsoft

I've lately been trying to get rid of a pop-up problem on my laptop, and I came across a very cool little site called Annoyances.org in the middle of my research. Not only does it have a great URL, but it also has a classic Terry Gilliam drawn foot stomping on that damned animated paperclip on the front page. Very therapeutic.

"And knowing is half the battle."

Excuse me while I briefly reminisce about my geeky past and bemoan the fate of childhood fixations:

What the flying f*ck happened to G.I. Joe?!?!

I caught a commercial for the new cartoon series over the weekend. Apparently, the owners of the franchise have decided that since the kids are all into Anime these days, then so goes Joe. The result is a series that barely resembles what most of us remember from the 1980's. Of the original good guys, only three main characters remain: Duke, Scarlet and Snake Eyes. Snake Eyes (Old vs. New) hasn't changed much because, well, Ninjas never go out of style. Duke (Old vs. New) is still the alpha male lead, though he looks more Street Fighter-ish here (In fact, is it just me, or does he too closely resemble another "Duke" we all know and love?).

And then there's Scarlet (Old vs. New). Good Night Irene, how the hell can that be Scarlet?!?!

I know what some of you are thinking. I mean, It's not like we're talking about classic Disney animation or something. G.I. Joe's basic purpose was to sell action figures, both then and now. So what if they're using giant mechs instead of jeeps and helicopters? The toys will sell all the same. Still, there's something disheartening about people immediately willing to jump on the bandwagon of Anime and completely abandon all that had come before it.

And it's not like I have anything against Anime. I personally think Cowboy Bebop is the greatest thing since sliced bread. But there's something to be said for retaining the old because there was something appealing there, instead of immediately jumping into what's trendy in order to cast as wide a net as possible. At least they didn't change Cobra much, but then why would they need to. After all, bad guys in the form of "a ruthless terrorist organization" doesn't get any more topical.


(This can also be viewed at Blogcritics)

Kid Gloves

One of the latest rumors to recently gain strength on the web is that President Bush is hitting the bottle again. I hope this isn't the case. The main reason is that, well, it's just a terrible thing to happen to anybody, even someone I'm not terribly fond of. It would be particularly tragic that his willpower would have finally broken after nearly 20 years of sobriety. Second, it would be a tremendous loss of morale for the country if it were true, and we all have enough on our plate right now.

Finally, I have to say, that I fear the tremendous spin that Karl Rove would engineer (through pundits like Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter) if it comes out. I can see the talking points as clear as day: "You see? Do you see what you've done to him? You bastard liberals in the media and the Congress and in the general public have driven him to this with all your pointless protests! You should be ashamed!" (They would say all of this despite all the reports that his aides filter his news for him and have made efforts to distance protestors via "Free Speech Zones").

My fear of this kind of meme is that there will be little we can do to defend ourselves. Whatever we do, we're going to look like schmucks. The chief argument (i.e. that Bush brought all this on himself) will not wash with the easily-swayed public. Especially since, as with 9/11, they will be looking for a large and easily attacked target onto which to focus all aggression. Could the reason behind his renewed alcoholism be that unprovoked war he botched which has killed nearly 2,000 American soldiers and countless civilians? No, It must be Dan Rather!

This all reminds me of a David Cross comedy routine where he describes how Bush's supporters encourage and protect him like he was this fragile child. "We're all treating him like he came in third place in the Special Olympics," Cross says. "As a nation we're like, 'Hey, good job! You're doing a great job there buddy! ... Look here's a reporter who wants to talk to you, wants to ask you a question ... DON'T ASK THAT QUESTION! DO NOT ASK THAT QUESTION!'"

Let's hope that Bush is not as susceptible to criticism as his supporters' actions may suggest. If this really is the case, then we have a much bigger problem than Dubya falling off the wagon.