My biggest laugh today did not come from McCain's VP.

It came from this:

SECRET SERVICE EMERGENCY-RESPONSE PROTOCOL 1127B: IF THE PRESIDENT FALLS DOWN A WELL.

BY SUSAN SCHORN

- - - -

TOP SECRET
Rationale: Due to the unique threat environment known to exist at POTUS's Crawford, Texas, ranch, the following protocol has been drafted for use in the event of a situation Code: ALICE.

PHASE ONE

PREVENTION

Education: POTUS has been cautioned to stay away from abandoned wells while outdoors at the ranch; to watch carefully for wells while clearing brush; to not follow Barney down any holes, no matter how big a rabbit he thinks might be down there; and to avoid stepping in any areas where "the ground is missing." (This language was recommended by the First Lady as most likely to ensure POTUS's comprehension.)

Site Survey: Crawford-based agents confirm that the ranch grounds have been thoroughly searched for abandoned wells. However, these searches cannot be considered exhaustive; well-safety experts note that not being able to see abandoned wells is the primary reason people fall down them in the first place. Moreover, agents have reported numerous (seven) sightings of VPOTUS exiting the Crawford property with a shovel. Thus, continued vigilance is required.

Thank heavens for McSweeney's. Go read the whole thing.

The Lion in Winter: Wordled

Ooooh, I think I've found a new toy!


Go make your own!

Sweetie, this is your Birthday Gift Inspiration Fairy calling

Lego Collector

Lego Collector

L. E. G. O. (pause) C. O. L. L. E. C. T. O. R.


That is all.

It's the Wayback Widget!

This was the set of "latest headlines" when I pulled up my Yahoo email just now (click to enlarge):

Dust Collector's Edition

Perhaps it's my more practical side speaking. Perhaps it's my latest efforts to simplify my life by getting rid of clutter. Whatever it is, I just don't get DVD's that come with so much stuff!



The picture above is of the Casablanca super duper de-luxe edition that is being released this December. Besides the discs containing the film and extras, it also...

"...is elegantly boxed in an intricate laser-cut Moroccan design and will include such collectibles as replicas of actual props (Victor Laszlo´s "Letter of Transit") as well as a number of Warner studio documents (an executive´s letter commanding a new PR image for Bogart from gangster to romantic lead; a note from producer Hal Wallis re-titling the film to Casablanca; and a memo from Wallis to Jack Warner strongly urging casting Bogart over George Raft)... a branded passport holder, luggage tag, photo book and a mail-in offer for a reproduction of the original movie poster."

Now, I realize this is one of the most beloved movies of all time (and with good reason), but does it really need enough doodads to choke a horse?

Part of me understands it. DVD collectors are fetishists. They like the look of a DVD and the shiny case, especially when it's nicely designed. Looking right now at my collection, I can point out how my copies of The Adventures of Robin Hood, Dogma, The Incredibles, Kingdom of Heaven, Once Upon a Time in the West, Rio Bravo, Seven Samurai, Titanic and Yojimbo as being great examples of this.

This is something that the studios will never understand when they start fretting about piracy. Cheap as it is, a burned CD labeled with a magic marker is not going to be nearly as appealing as a purchased DVD. The packaging can be as important as the content. And it's legal, too.

But packaging is one thing. Things such as luggage tags and passports are quite another. At least Casablanca gets points for subtlety and taste. At least it doesn't feature a goofy looking bust of Keanu Reeves.

But I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't admit to my preorder of the Mystery Science Theater 3000: 20th Anniversary Edition coming out in October. Not only are they bypassing a standard cardboard case with a tin, but it also comes with four lobby cards and (cough) a goofy looking bust of Crow T. Robot.




But in my defense, it's not like there are other versions of this out there to buy. And it certainly isn't going to be a trend in my future purchases. I refuse to have to allow as much shelf space for DVD knickknacks as I provide for the DVD's themselves.

When Mice Had Tails

Brilliant (via Boing Boing):

With a mandate to teach evolution but little guidance as to how, science teachers are contriving ways to turn a culture war into a lesson plan. How they fare may bear on whether a new generation of Americans embraces scientific evidence alongside religious belief.

"If you see something you don't understand, you have to ask 'why?' or 'how?' " Campbell often admonished his students at Ridgeview High School.

Yet their abiding mistrust in evolution, he feared, jeopardized their belief in the basic power of science to explain the natural world - and their ability to make sense of it themselves.

Passionate on the subject, Campbell had helped to devise the state's new evolution standards, which will be phased in starting this fall.

A former Navy flight instructor not used to pulling his punches, Campbell fought hard for passage of the new standards. But with his students last spring, he found himself treading carefully as he tried to bridge an ideological divide that stretches well beyond his classroom. He started withMickey Mouse.

On the projector, Campbell placed slides of the cartoon icon: one at his skinny genesis in 1928, one from his 1940 turn as the impish "Sorcerer's Apprentice," and one of the rounded, ingratiating charmer of Mouse Club fame.

"How," he asked his students, "has Mickey changed?"

Natives of Disney World's home state, they waved their hands and called out answers.

"His tail gets shorter," Bryce volunteered.

"Bigger eyes!" someone else shouted.

"He looks happier," one girl observed. "And cuter."

Campbell smiled. "Mickey evolved," he said. "And Mickey gets cuter because Walt Disney makes more money that way. That is 'selection.' "