Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Skippy of the Day: Cynthia Davis

Oh, boy. This is why "Skippy" was created in the first place. Let us remember our Carlin: "It's all in the language you use. Language always gives you away."

State Representative Cynthia Davis of Missouri is speaking about two new bills that would, among other things, require biology textbooks to include "alternative theories to evolution". I'm not even going to touch the evolution issue today. Instead, let me briefly focus on just the language she uses when describing liberals:

"It's like when the hijackers took over those four planes on Sept. 11 and took people to a place where they didn't want to go," she added. "I think a lot of people feel that liberals have taken our country somewhere we don't want to go. I think a lot more people realize this is our country and we're going to take it back."
"A place where they didn't want to go". What place would that be, Ms. Davis? A boring exhibit at the Museum of Science and History? The sewage treatment facility outside of town? A performance of "Barney the Purple Dinosaur on Ice"? Or perhaps you meant a terrifying, fiery death!!!

Boy, similes are fun when you don't bother to put any thought into what you're saying! Let me try one! When a guy beats the crap out of his wife for no reason after coming home drunk, it's like when a pet owner strikes the snout of a puppy that has piddled on the carpet. Inaccurate. To say the least. Offensive? You bet your ass. And the feeling that women would experience after reading that line, Ms. Davis, is what liberals are feeling when they read your piece of acidic bile in the New York Times.

There is the possibility, and lord knows this is not a new tactic among Republicans, that she meant what she said. If it wasn't meant literally, then maybe it was simply to make a subconscious connection between liberals and terrorists in the public's mind. Or perhaps, if she's a real fire-and-brimstone kinda gal, she does mean it literally as she views the simple absorption of valid scientific theories by children as a one-way ticket to the land of eternal fire.

Let me explain this to you, Ms. Davis. And I'll use nice, simple one and two syllable words so that you understand: When those of us want to put these subjects in schools, we do it to teach, to help, and to show. We do it to inform children of the world around them and prepare them for real life. On the other hand, when the bad men took the planes, they did it to kill. That's it. Not to teach. Not to help. Not to show. They just wanted to kill a large group of people at once and scare the rest.

Now please, Ms. Davis, explain to me what one has to do with the other.

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