Ocean's (Top) Eleven

Yes, I'm pretty confident in saying that Ocean's Eleven is one of my favorite all time films of the past ten years. Mrs. Mosley likes it too, and we've both watched it more times than we can count. This has ended up in us quoting from it all the time, so here's a list of our top eleven quotes (Some of these need some context to make sense, so do yourself a favor and go see the darn thing if you haven't already. You also have my recommendation to completely ignore Ocean's Twelve):

11. Reuben: You're Bobby Caldwell's kid. From Chicago. It's nice there, do you like it?
Linus: Yeah.
Reuben: That's wonderful. Get in the goddamn house.

10. Yen: Where the f&%k you been?

9. Rusty: Incan matrimonial headmasks.
Shane West: Is there a lot of money in that? Incan matrimonial
Danny: Headmasks. There's some.
Rusty: Don't let him fool you, there's boatloads. If you can move them. But you can't.

8. Reuben: Look, we all go way back and uh, I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place and I'll never forget it.

7. Saul: I've got a duplex now, wall-to-wall, goldfish. I'm seeing a nice lady who works the "Unmentionables" counter at Macy's.

6. Rusty: God, I'm bored!
Danny: You look bored.
Rusty: I am bored!

5. Basher: Oh, Leave it out!

4. Danny: You could ask him.
Rusty: Hey, I could ask him.

3. Frank: Ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my... social agenda, you know what I mean.

2. Danny: Ten oughta do it, don't you think? You think we need one more? You think we need one more. All right, we'll get one more.

1. Rusty: They say taupe is very soothing.

A vision in ... Pumpkin

Now that I've opened the whole can of worms that are blog pictures, may I present a picture of the lovely Mrs. Mosley:



My personal image will remain classified for security reasons, of course.

This image is actually from last year's pumpkin cutting ceremony, which I detailed in a previous post. Suffice to say that she is as pleasant as that picture indicates most of time, with the exception of when Mr. Mosley gets grumpy and starts muttering curses about our sneezing cat, the weeds in the yard, or those damned kids today with their low pants and their Britney Spears and their ... HEY, YOU KIDS, GET OFF MY LAWN!

Skippy of the Day: Trent Lott

You know, I usually post very little on the weekends. And my "Skippy of the Day" posts have thinned out recently. But sometimes, sometimes you come across a quote (via Blah3) that simply can't wait until Monday. Ladies and Gentleman, United States Senator Trent Lott:

"I want the President to look across the country and find the best man, woman, or minority that he can find."

On behalf of myself and my Mississippi-born wife, allow me to say this: GET THE F%#K OUT OF THE MAGNOLIA STATE, YOU NIMROD!

Excelsior!

First off, let me also applaud George Takei for revealing that he's gay a couple of days ago. It was a brave move and I commend him for it. I noticed two particular commentaries about this story elsewhere. On Little Yellow Different, which is a blog by a gay Asian guy who works for Yahoo, he gave a brief entry: "George Takei comes out of the closet, upping the number out-of-the-closet gay Asian male actors to two" (BD Wong being the other). Then there was this nice anecdote from David Edelstein over on Slate:

Where No Star Trek Actor Has Gone Before: What a shock 10 years ago to amble down to breakfast at a lovely Savannah B & B and find myself across the communal table from ... Mr. Sulu -- and with a young man who was clearly his lover! You can't tell from Star Trek that George Takei is a hugely theatrical presence, with a voice that ricochets off walls and a deep laugh. I didn't acknowledge his celebrity or ask him about Star Trek -- or the Japanese detention camp in which he spent part of his youth. We talked about the architecture and culture of Savannah, and he was remarkably observant (and friendly). He said he was on his way to the Renaissance Weekend at Hilton Head -- the legendary conference for the best and the brightest. I went upstairs and told my girlfriend (a late riser) that I'd just had breakfast with Mr. Sulu, that he was gay, and that he was going up to spend the weekend with Bill and Hillary Clinton and a lot of other important intellectuals. She said, "Uh-huh," and chalked this up to one too many mint juleps the night before. It was very satisfying to pick up the paper a few days later and read about the conference, attended by the Clintons, Robert Reich, etc., etc. -- "and, oddly," the reporter wrote, "George Takei from Star Trek."

So it wasn't a dream.

I've been itching to write about this for years. ... Congratulations, Mr. Takei, for being as unashamed as you were that morning, and for boldly entering this, our final cultural frontier for public figures.

Man, We've stayed in a bunch of B&B's (and Mrs. Mosley sleeps late!), so whay haven't I met a Star Trek actor at breakfast yet?!?!

Speaking of which, Star Trek geeks will get the double meaning of the post title.

Lyrically speaking: Fiona Apple

I rarely buy new CD's anymore, but it was a given that I would buy Fiona Apple's latest album Extraordinary Machine. It's release this month comes after years of complications involving her longtime producer Jon Brion. The initial tracks she recorded leaked onto the internet amidst all this and became the online shared song. Eventually, Hip-hop producer Mike Elizondo stepped in to rework the album, resulting in a whole package that most people say is much improved.

Indeed, "Better Version of Me" is now a lot easier to listen too now that it isn't so busy with calliopes and such. The title track, however, is virtually the same. That's a good thing. The simplicity recalls her first two albums, particularly her song "Paper Bag" from the When the Pawn... album. For your reading pleasure, here are the lyrics to "Extraordinary Machine":

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
-And-
I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb,
But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so
I can't stop changing all the time

I notice that my opponent is always on the go
-And-
Won't go slow, so's not to focus, and I notice
He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as
They go fast from whence he came
- But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so
He can't stop staying exactly the same

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view and be at piece and lay
I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say,
I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

I am the baby of the family, it happens, so
- Everybody cares and wears the sheeps' clothes
While they chaperone
Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease
- Courteous, to try and help - but let me set your
Mind at ease

(Chorus)

-Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side?
-It's very kind
But it's to no avail; I don't want the bail
I promise you, everything will be just fine

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

Do yourself a favor and pick this one up. As with her other two albums, it's ... extraordinary.

Breaking new ground here at Acrentropy

Mrs. Mosley has complained to me on a number of occasions about my never posting any pictures. Well, I looked into Blogger's Image Upload service, and it seems easier than I thought it would be. So, here I go with Acrentropy's FIRST IMAGE EVER:


Thanks to Church Sign Generator (via Ramblings of Regan) for the assist.

" ... Mr. Lincoln seems to forget that ... "

Oh, this is Priceless: If Fox News Had Been Around Throughout History (via Metafilter)

More Headline goodness

From CNN:

White House to Onion: Stop using seal

Acrentropy to White House: Find something useful to do with your time

Chicken Caesar Review: Bear Rock Cafe

The Bear Rock Cafe's most interesting component is an interior style that emulates a ski lodge, which is about as foreign as you can get in sunny Florida. Still, it's a cozy setting to enjoy a nice salad. It's Chicken Caesar Salad, which costs $6.29, contains Romaine lettuce, grilled chicken breast, Parmesan cheese and homemade croutons tossed in creamy Caesar dressing.

This whole cafe reminded me of Panera, so it was not surprising when the salad reminded me of Panera too. The salad is indeed tossed, as it should be, and the dressing is mild enough to not overpower the rest of the ingredients. The chicken, as with Panera's salad, comes in precooked chunk form which are nonetheless tasty and moist. The Parmesan and the Romaine are fine. The biggest feature of the salad, and not in a good way, are the croutons. These "homemade croutons" are seasoned within an inch of their lives and are way too intense for their own good. They make all the other flavors take a back seat. This brings to mind an old cooking axiom: Just because you can season doesn't mean you should.

In a head to head match with Panera, the slightly cheaper and more enjoyable Panera Caesar still comes out on top. Oddly enough, I'd recommend this Bear Rock salad to anyone still on that Atkins kick. Just tell them to hold the croutons, and you'll have a fine carb-lite meal to enjoy.

Stating the obvious and stickin' it to the man

One of the top headlines on the Florida Times-Union website today:

The New Trent Reznor is not without drama

In other news, I hear that Michael Moore is quite the little rabble rouser.

I would have read further to see what that cutesy double-negative headline was all about, but the FTU has gone and moved to a free subscription service for their news stories. This includes their online archives, which is going to make my job as a librarian a tremendous pain in the ass. Fortunately, vee hav vays ov making zem talk!

May I present BugMeNot: It's the only way to fly.

Boy, look at all the crap I didn't convince my Mom to buy me.

I just discovered a British site about television during the 70's and 80's (a definite future addition to La-La Land) and found a list of the top 100 toys of those two decades. I gave myself an informal survey and found I only owned sixteen of the items. This low number can be accounted for by (a) the fact that some items appear to be more British than American, (b) I was only born in 1973 and missed out on some of these things and (c) some are toys for little girls. Here are my personal fun-filled stops down memory lane (batteries not included).

1. A Bike
2. A Computer
6. Star Wars Death Star Playset
28. Magic Rocks
30. Hangman
31. Screwball Scramble
35. Spirograph
38. Etchasketch
44. Dungeons and Dragons
47. Operation
54. Mousetrap
63. Armatron
79. Viewmaster
91. Electronic Project/Chemistry Set
92. Zoids/Transformers
93. Rubik's Cube

This is dedicated to you, Mrs. Mosley

This is an interesting trend (via Daily Kos):

In May, the Minnesota Office of Higher Education posted the inevitable culmination of a trend: Last year for the first time, women earned more than half the degrees granted statewide in every category, be it associate, bachelor, master, doctoral or professional.

Women are doing it for themselves, and the majority of the male population are showing themselves for the lunkheads they usually are. When you combine this story with (a) the new show Commander in Chief and (b) the fact that rumors earlier this weeks prophesized a Condoleezza vs. Hillary match-up for the 2008 elections, it's looking better for women all the time.

So in lieu of my last post, let me use that old Simpsons fill-in-the-blank formulaic expression for this occasion:

"I, for one, welcome our new female overlords."

My favorite will always be "Jerkass"

A new reason to love Wikipedia.

The Shrug of Shrub

The Library move continues unabated, and I have little time for original posting. Fortunately, the Internet is rich with news and commentary these days. Here are some choice words from John Aravosis over at AmericaBlog:

If a senior White House staffer had intentionally outed an American spy during World War II, he'd have been shot.

We're at war, George Bush keeps reminding us. We cannot continue with business as usual. A pre-9/11 mentality is deadly. Putting the lives of our troops at risk is treason.

Then why is the White House and the Republican party engaged in a concerted campaign to make treason acceptable during a time of war? That's exactly what they're doing. On numerous news shows today, Republican surrogates, their talking points ready, issued variations of the following concerning White House chief of staff Karl Rove's outing of a covert CIA agent as part of a political vendetta:

- It's the criminalization of politics
- Is this 'minor' leak really worth all this?
- Political payback is common and should not be criminalized
- Mis-speaking or mis-remembering is not a crime

Yes, the Republicans are now making light of an intentional effort to expose an undercover CIA agent, working on weapons of mass destruction in the Middle East, no less, while we are at war in the Middle East on that very issue.

The GOP has become the party of treason.

It would be one thing for a senior adviser to the president to put the nation's security at risk during a time of war. That could be explained as an aberration - a quite serious one, no doubt - but a fluke nonetheless. But when the president himself refuses to keep his own word about firing that aberration, and when the entire Republican party rallies around that fluke and tries to minimize what is usually a capital offense during wartime, something is seriously wrong with that party and its leadership.

America is ignoring the Geneva Conventions because our president feels that winning this war is so paramount. Our Congress has watered down our civil rights laws. We have jailed American citizens with no access to legal counsel. And our President even believes it is worth lying to the American people in order to wage this so-important battle. All this because we are a nation at war and nothing will be permitted to stand in the way of this life-and-death struggle.

But when a senior aide to the President of the United States endangers the life of an undercover CIA agent, her colleagues and contacts around the world - when he chooses to put at risk our entire effort to undercover weapons of mass destruction before they are used to kill millions in an American city - what response do we get from the Bush White House and the Republican Party? A defensive (offensive) shrug.

SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!

And Please, PLEASE pass this along to others here in the United States:

THE hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church has published a teaching document instructing the faithful that some parts of the Bible are not actually true.

The Catholic bishops of England, Wales and Scotland are warning their five million worshippers, as well as any others drawn to the study of scripture, that they should not expect "total accuracy" from the Bible.

"We should not expect to find in Scripture full scientific accuracy or complete historical precision," they say in The Gift of Scripture.

The document is timely, coming as it does amid the rise of the religious Right, in particular in the US.

Some Christians want a literal interpretation of the story of creation, as told in Genesis, taught alongside Darwin's theory of evolution in schools, believing "intelligent design" to be an equally plausible theory of how the world began.

But the first 11 chapters of Genesis, in which two different and at times conflicting stories of creation are told, are among those that this country's Catholic bishops insist cannot be "historical". At most, they say, they may contain "historical traces".

The document shows how far the Catholic Church has come since the 17th century, when Galileo was condemned as a heretic for flouting a near-universal belief in the divine inspiration of the Bible by advocating the Copernican view of the solar system. Only a century ago, Pope Pius X condemned Modernist Catholic scholars who adapted historical-critical methods of analysing ancient literature to the Bible.

In the document, the bishops acknowledge their debt to biblical scholars. They say the Bible must be approached in the knowledge that it is "God's word expressed in human language" and that proper acknowledgement should be given both to the word of God and its human dimensions.

They say the Church must offer the gospel in ways "appropriate to changing times, intelligible and attractive to our contemporaries".

The Bible is true in passages relating to human salvation, they say, but continue: "We should not expect total accuracy from the Bible in other, secular matters."

A-men.

Strunk and White would approve

I remain convinced that Mimi Smartypants is the funniest damn blog on the planet. Posts like this remind me that I really need to order her book:

This weekend is my sister's wedding---I don't have to do much except shepherd Nora through her flower-girl performance, be in some pictures, and read a poem solely in order to drag out the non-religious ceremony. I printed out the poem to get a feel for how it would read out loud, and I noticed some awkward parts that just did not scan, and some adverbs (ugh: adverbs should be a last resort in poetry), and some places where I really felt there should be punctuation. So guess what! I edited it! I know, it's wrong on a whole bunch of copyright and other levels, but the poem is by no means well known and if I can produce a smoother read and a smoother ceremony by changing a few words, so be it. My only concern is that the poet will somehow hear of this and I will be sued or beaten up. WELL, BRING IT ON, YOU ADVERB-LOVING BASTARD!

We're a looooooong way from New Jack City

It's ironic that Ice-T, who was once the subject of a fierce controversy over his song "Cop Killer" back in 1992, has now become primarily known for playing a police officer in Law & Order: SVU. Granted, his song was about bad and dirty cops, like the ones who beat the living crap of Rodney King. And you could argue that his current role is an effort to portray the good cops that do exist. Still, it's funny that younger viewers (if there are younger viewers who watch SVU) may only know him as a cop from the show.

But that irony I accepted years ago when I first started watching the show. What has ... ahem, struck me more about him lately is how, on the show, he gets sucker punched on a regular basis. OK, I guess twice is not technically a regular basis, but it still stands out. On last Tuesday's new episode, he's punched good and hard by a teenage white boy accused of rape. That, I suppose, isn't too embarrassing. But last season, in the episode "Weak", he was back-of-the hand pimp slapped by ... Amanda Plummer?!?!?! "Weak" is right!

How embarrassing an image is that for a rapper? Imagine if 50 Cent got his ass handed to him by Kate Moss, or perhaps if Jay-Z got laid out by Bjork.

But Ice-T is primarily an actor now, so this kind of stuff is not as important. Besides, as an actor, he has to do things like this once in a while. The rest of time, he's getting tough with perps and slamming them into lockers like the other TV cops do. You keep it up, Ice! We're rooting for you!

And keep an eye out for that Assistant D.A. Novak. She might just mess you up if you're not careful.

AND we have no state income tax!

There are times when I HATE living in a state that is hot, humid and is not at all familiar with the concept of a "White Christmas".

Today is not one of those times.

Today is my Birthday

Happy Birthday!

In terms of other people's birthdays, we can also celebrate Luciano Pavarotti and Hugh Jackman. Boy, there's a buddy cop team just waiting to happen on the big screen!

OK, maybe not. But if it's creation hinders any future movie that features two or more of the following actors (Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Will Ferrell), then I'm all for it.

Those wacky Romans!

Mrs. Mosley and I have returned from a three day weekend in Orlando. It was a small trip to celebrate my upcoming birthday and consisted mostly of shopping at the outlet malls. That's right: We skipped the theme parks altogether. Of course, we can go to Orlando and not feel compelled to do the major attractions since it's less than three hours away. Besides, we spent all our money at the aforementioned outlet malls.

One thing that caught my eye were billboard ads for The Holy Land Experience, a biblical theme park that acts as an alternative to Disney. I have little doubt that this was created, in part, as a response to Disney's favorable policies towards homosexuals. At the time "Holy Land" opened in 2001, Disney was still under boycott by the Southern Baptists and the Catholic League (this ineffective shunning of old Mickey was officially ended by the Baptists back in June).

Anyway. The billboards. The ad is dominated by the picture of a kid with a sort of shocked/ amazed/ happy expression as a Roman guard peers over the boy's right shoulder while using his finger to tap his left. The tone is lighthearted and meant to communicate good times to the kids and parents who see it.

Now, the last time I checked, Romans were the bad guys in the Bible. If they were truly recreating the Israel of 2000 years ago, then the Romans as viewed by Christians would not be happy-go-lucky guys. Obviously, since they're competing with Disney, the people at "Holy Land" are trying to communicate an attractive and fun image with this ad, but they can't have their Manna and eat it too. Either it's an educational view of a very miserable time to live in, or it's a fun wonderland for kids to run and play. You aint getting both, folks.

Can you imagine some of these poor kids who, having already watched The Passion of the Christ, go to this park and have to keep from shouting in terror when they see the men who flailed the very skin off their savior's back? What's next? Are they going to create a Jewish theme park that recreates the Warsaw Ghettos, complete with Nazi goons who play peek-a-boo with five year olds?

The ads are misguided, as I think the theme park as a whole is. Yet even though the idea for this theme park doesn't float my boat, if other people gain a good time from plopping down $30 to see ancient Israel, then far be it for me to besmirch them. I just hope, for their sakes, it doesn't end up like Heritage USA.

Near Crypto

And now, for absolutely no reason (and courtesy of this site), here are the top ten anagrams for "Acrentropy":

10. RECTORY NAP - Sometimes even Priests are sick of listening to your problems and just need themselves a lie down.

9. TRY PEA CORN - Like hell, I will! I'm sick of these mutant vegetable hybrids! Get it off my plate!

8. RECOPY RANT - Like hell, I will! I'm sick of these mutant vegetable hybrids! Get it off my plate!

7. TARRY PONCE - Definitely the gayest phrase of the top ten.

6. TAN RYE CROP - Well, Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen any blue rye crops around, have you?

5. CRY EAT PORN - Aren't those the three stages a person goes through after breaking up with someone?

4. PART ONE CRY - Yeah. I thought so.

3. CARRYON PET - Well it's about time they introduced this policy. Now they don't have to suffer being stuck down there with the luggage.

2. CRONE PARTY - Because Witches and Old Maids need to let their hair down once in a while.

And the number one anagram for "Acrentropy":

1. NARC POETRY -
Zero Tolerance.
A calm lake of purity.
No grey areas.

Look out, Gert Frobe!

Never mind who's going to replace Pierce Brosnan! They have more important casting news to report:

Grover to Play the Casino Royale Villain?

Were Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker unavailable?

In actuality, they're talking about this guy. Maybe they can make the next Bond film into a Bollywood musical! From what I hear, it wouldn't be any sillier than Die Another Day.

Schadenfreude

Commentary on Harriet Miers by Atrios:

Wingnuttia is rather angry at the choice. I don't think this is because they're really concerned that she's not conservative enough for their tastes, although that's part of it. They're angry because this was supposed to be their nomination. This is was their moment. They didn't just want a stealth victory, they wanted parades and fireworks. They wanted Bush to find the wingnuttiest wingnut on the planet, fully clothed and accessorized in all the latest wingnut fashions, not just to give them their desired Court rulings, but also to publicly validate their influence and power. They didn't just want substantive results, what they wanted even more were symbolic ones. They wanted Bush to extend a giant middle finger to everyone to the left of John Ashcroft. They wanted to watch Democrats howl and scream and then ultimately lose a nasty confirmation battle. They wanted this to be their "WE RUN THE COUNTRY AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT" moment.

Whatever kind of judge she would be, she doesn't provide them with that.

"Hello, 911? There's a woman in a corset outside my house!"

I'm man enough to admit that when Mrs. Mosley first introduced me to the Pride and Prejudice miniseries, I was totally enthralled. This has pleased Mrs. Mosley to no end, and we have ended up watching the whole five hours at least ten times together. We watched it again last weekend, and I am currently listening to the audiobook version of it for the first time.

Bearing this in mind, I'll tell you that one of my first tasks at work this morning was opening boxes of new material for processing. I set aside six big boxes, all of which had labels that identified the contents as Non-Fiction Spanish. As is often the case with new materials, some ones that don't belong get packed in the wrong box. Of the six I opened, there was only one Fiction title: Orgullo Y Prejuicio by Jane Austen.

You know, I like you and all, Jane, but don't make me get a restraining order!

Keith David Quote of the Month: October 2005

Into every actor's life, some cheese must fall. In the case of Keith David, Exhibit A would be They Live, a sci-fi action film directed by John Carpenter. David might have thought he was in good hands with Carpenter after they had finished the superior The Thing together. Though it does have an intriguing premise, there are a number of faults that ultimately doom it. The chief among these can be summed up in six words: Roddy Piper is NO Kurt Russell. Still, there is room enough for David to get a good line in.

Frank: The Golden Rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules.

(Postscript: Though I cite this film as David's moment of cheese in my monthly quote series, it certainly isn't his worst film to date. That would be Roadhouse, which was made one year after They Live. Alas, there are no quotes for him listed in IMDb, and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit through that film in an effort to find one quote, even if it is Keith David.)