Chunk! Chunk!

Those of you who watch the original Law & Order series, which will be starting it's 17th season (!) next Fall, already know that A.D.A. Alexandra Borgia went and got herself killed last season. News came out last week that her replacement will be played by Alana De La Garza, formerly of CSI: Miami.

Fans of Law & Order will also know that the role of A.D.A. has experienced the highest turnover of all the starring roles in the series. Alana De La Garza will be the seventh person to play the role and, oddly enough, the fifth dark haired female.

I have nothing against dark haired females, you understand. It's just that they seem to blend together after awhile. Let's have a look at the five, shall we?

Jill Hennessy

Carey Lowell

Angie Harmon

Annie Parisse

Alana De La Garza

I mean, De La Garza is hot and all, but she also seriously looks like they spliced the DNA of the previous four in order come up with this new one. I think I saw this G.I. Joe episode twenty years ago.

So why are the creators using another one? Part of the explanation for this could be due to the juggernaut that is Sam Waterston. He has been the D.A. since season four and has played opposite every female A.D.A. in the series. And although the characters on the show are infamous for their minimum of backstory, it has been hinted that his character has a bad history with women. I haven't noticed that this has played out for much of anything in the course of the show, but maybe there are bigger things to come (ideally, during sweeps).

But I'm sick of it by now. Memo to Dick Wolfe: Shake things up a bit! Go back two of your more distinct A.D.A.'s and combine them into a new character:

Richard Brooks

Elisabeth Rohm

Put these two together and you get someone really interesting: A German/African lesbian with a high top fade!

Is Grace Jones available?