Wednesday, June 28, 2006

How to tell if you're a Bush Republican

The point has been made over and over again, but I'll say it anyway: It's idiotic when Bush stands up and says that terrorists hate us because of our freedom, and then slowly chip away all the freedoms we have.

It all comes down to something I realized long ago: Though Bush Republicans oppose Evolution being taught to their kids, all of them are strict Darwinists at heart. That is, they all are firm believers in "Survival of the Fittest". If Bush says that some new law or action that strips some more of our freedoms away will help protect us from terrorists, then they're all for it, no questions asked. In this sense, their mantra is more similar to "Survival of the Most Craven", but you get the point.

To clear up any confusion, I've set up a simple one-question test for anyone who wants to know if they are a Bush Republican:

"A burglar is in the house and is pointing a .22 pistol at you (Let's just say for this scenario that the United Nations has taken away all your guns just like the tinfoil hat people at the NRA warned you about). You have multiple objects around that you can pick up and possibly block a bullet. Choose one or more items that you would be willing to use in this fashion."

(A) A table
(B) A large, heavy book
(C) A pet
(D) A complete stranger
(E) A family member

If you chose most or all of the above choices, Congratulations! You are a Bush Republican!

(Note: This does not apply if choice (B) is a Bible. After all, even Bush Republicans have their standards.)

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