"Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?"

As I was reaching into my car Friday morning to pick up my coffee, I somehow hurt my lower back (and it wasn't even a Venti). The pain continues, though I'm on the Doan's pills and that's taking the edge off a bit.

As to what caused it, I looked online for some medical advice and discovered it's due to a small, radioactive capsule implanted at the base of my spine. Fortunately for my friends and coworkers, the radiation doesn't radiate further that six inches out. Mrs. Mosley, however, will have to cut down on the cuddling until I have this blasted thing removed.