We need some better Strategery

A couple of months ago, Rolling Stone did a front page story subtly titled "The Worst President in History". As you can probably guess, they weren't talking about James Polk.

It's a great read, but there was one portion of it I found interesting:

"Lincoln sought and received Congressional authorization for his suspension of habeas corpus in 1863. Nor did Lincoln act under the amorphous cover of a "war on terror" -- a war against a tactic, not a specific nation or political entity, which could last as long as any president deems the tactic a threat to national security."

As much criticism as I have read about the Bush presidency since 9/11, I had yet to see the "War on Terror" put in these terms.

Comedian David Cross once said, "You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy", and that comes close to the real futility of it all, but not quite. However, the description in Rolling Stone really hits it on the head, because that is the essence of what we're talking about: A war on a tactic. In this spirit, I suggest some other wars for Bush to wage in case the "War on Terror" goes South on him (you know, as opposed to, like, now):

The War on the Blitzkrieg
The War on Discussing-Work-For-Thirty-Seconds-And-Calling-It-A-Business-Lunch
The War on Bait-And-Switch Advertising
The War on Trying-To-Reason-With-Bullies (Never worked anyway, did it?)
The War on the No-Huddle Offense
The War on Having-Your-Friend-Phone-You-To-Get-You-Out-Of-A-Bad-Date
The War on the Rhythm Method
The War on Good Cop/Bad Cop Interrogations (First Battle: The entire Law & Order franchise)
The War on the Kasparov Defense
The War on Waiting-Two-Days-Before-Calling-A-Girl-After-Getting-Their-Number (Industry Standard)
The War on Up-Up-Down-Down-Left-Right-Left-Right-B-A

It's all so very, very silly. And even Bush, in a rare moment of clarity, has commented on the War on Terror saying, "I don't think you can win it". Too bad that clarity didn't last.