The GOP attempts to get jiggy with it

Despite the picture on my profile, I am not, in fact, black. I am actually a 33 year old middle-class married white guy. Therefore, I know the cold, hard truth that white people have absolutely no business at trying to rap (as with every rule, there are exceptions). Linked to this is the truth that white people should not attempt to sound black. No matter how many 50 cent videos you may listen to, your attempt to sound gangsta ain't convincing, Cletus.

Which brings me to a Republican political commercial that is making the rounds on television. It's funded by an old white male billionaire and it's target audience are young, low income blacks. The commercial feature two young black males talking about abortion. Here's their exchange:

BLACK MAN #1: "If you make a little mistake with one of your 'hos,' you'll want to dispose of that problem tout suite, no questions asked."

BLACK MAN #2: "That's too cold. I don't snuff my own seed."

BLACK MAN #1: "Maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican."

The first impression from this exchange is obvious: This canny billionaire Republican has obviously uncovered our secret plan to force all American women to have abortions if we get back in power, thus the motivation for these two guys to vote GOP. Damn. They got us dead to rights, didn't they?

But that's not what I wanted to address. This is: "Tout Suite"

"Tout Suite"? "Tout Suite"?!?

The article that is linked above takes issue with the use of the word "ho's", which is a fair argument. However, I can't get past the whole "tout suite" thing, myself. I mean, my confession does apply here in that I'm not all that familiar with modern slang. However, I'm pretty sure "tout suite" went the way of the dodo sometime before LBJ was president. Hearing the first guy use that term was so jarring that I half expected the second one to end his sentence with "23 Skidoo"! I mean, we knew that Republicans were out of touch, but come on!

And as a postscript to this, you should know that there are two spellings and meanings to this term. "Toot Sweet" was popular with soldiers during WWI as a way to say "quick as you can". It's obvious they wanted this meaning for the commercial. "Tout Suite", however, is a French term for a silent fart, which miraculously makes this entire farce even funnier than it was.