An official-looking guy steps up to a podium in from of a crowd of anxious reporters in order to clear up some confusion:
"I'm just going to make this brief statement on behalf of A.R.H.A.D.L. The spreading of these erroneous and offensive descriptions has gone on for decades, and we find ourselves once again having to make a public statement. Racehorses do not urinate more frequently or at greater length than non-racing horses or, for that matter, any mammal of comparable size. This organized, publicly-sanctioned slander must stop."