Monday, March 07, 2005

Movie Quotes: "I Love You To Death"

Oddball pairings of actors are often times used for the sheer novelty of it (just look at Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett in "Hollywood Homicide". On second thought, don't). Then there are other times when, for whatever reason, it just works.

Take, for example, the dark comedy "I Love You to Death". The wife of serial adulterer Joey Boca (Kevin Kline) has finally discovered his cheating ways. With the help of her mother and a friend from work, they plot to kill him. Unfortunately, every attempt fails for one reason or another. After an overdose of sleeping pills merely puts him to sleep, they decide to get drastic. They hire two pothead brothers named Harlan and Marlon (William Hurt and Keanu Reeves) to shoot Joey while he's sleeping in the bed.

I laugh so hard every time I think about these two guys wandering around the house and ducking low-hanging lamps. In this scene, they finally decide to shoot Joey. Of course, it's not as easy as all that.

Marlon: Where are you going to shoot him?

Harlan: Right here, what do you think, I'm going to take him downtown?

Marlon: No. I mean where on his body?

Harlan: Well, I don't know. His heart I guess. Which side is that on, his heart?

Marlon: Oh, sh*t, man. I don't know. It's in there somewhere.

Harlan: (They both kneel down and Harlan puts his ear to his Joey's chest) I don't hear nothin'.

Marlon: Wait a minute. School.

Harlan: What?

Marlon: School, man. You know. Pledge allegiance.

Harlan: Oh yeah.

Marlon: (stands up and puts his hand over his heart) Hand over your heart.

Harlan: (does the same) Yeah, Right.

Marlon & Harlan: (simultaneously) I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America...

Harlan: (still speaking simultaneously, but struggling to remember the words) ...and to the Republic...under one invisible nation...

Marlon: ...and...to the nations under God...

Harlan: ...spacious skies and amber graves of liberty for all.

Marlon: ...bright stars would...deliver us from freedom.
Needless to say, they still shoot the wrong side.

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